I got to hang out with an old friend over the weekend. We had laughs and beer, and took a trip down memory lane. One of my favorite stories to tell took place probably about 9 or 10 years ago. We were at a club and he was trying so hard to get in with a group of girls. There was this black chick that had really caught his eye. The girl was the very best kind of thicc. He was buying them drinks and honestly thought he had an in. Finally, he made his move, trying to see if he could get her to go home with him. She was mean AF, laughing at him and saying the drinks were nice, but he couldn’t afford a girl like her. Talk about humiliating a guy.

He returned to us looking totally dejected and didn’t want to talk about what had happened, but we’d all seen and heard it. A couple guys gave him a hard time then paid to keep him drunk the rest of the night. As for me, I went looking for the callous bitch. When I found her, I intended to give her a piece of my mind, but damn she was hot. Maybe it was the whiskey that made me so bold. “You said he couldn’t afford you. What’s your price?” I ended up pounding her hard in the bathroom stall for $400. I told her that was cheap as hell, just like her.

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